I am going to be really self-confessional and say that I have felt some urge to write a blog listing my blessings as many of you have admiringly done. Yet I haven't. The reason is I have been a big grump lately. Just ask Russ he will tell you. (Or maybe he wont because he doesn't want me to know he said it and have to deal with my wrath when he gets home.)
I have been a grump because of serious sleep deprivation. I have been up between three and five times a night for the last month or so. I had one beautiful break of once a night on Thanksgiving Eve but Thanksgiving night was a joke of FIVE different times waking up. Savannah has been waking up a lot in the night. We've tried to supplement nursing with formula to help her sleep more but as you might remember - she isn't taking a bottle. This involves a long half hour process of syringing two ounces of formula in her mouth each evening while she cries. The task is performed by Russ (for which he earns major points) while I sit downstairs and feel guilty and pray she will just give in and take a bottle.
Of course this does no good in the sleep department now that she has a cold.
Yes, she was on antibiotics when she got the cold.
No, I'm not joking.
Now I know I will get responses from some of you that your children wake up way more and it is just part of motherhood. However there is one problem. I am a big fat wuss. I need my sleep. I truly am not a good Christian when I'm this tired.
However, now that I have immaturely whined to the world I want to move on and refocus my attention on my blessings.
I have an amazing husband. He has been up almost as much with Savannah. While he can't feed her in the night he rocks her to sleep. He also gets up with Abbie almost all of the time. Aside from being a great father, he is my best friend and I love spending time with him.
I have two beautiful daughters. Most of the time they are very well behaved and pleasant. They make for my happiest moments, and can make me smile and laugh faster than anyone.
I have a warm home. It isn't perfect, but it is ours.
I'm grateful for my job. I love teaching students and getting at least some of them interested in what is going on in the world around them. It lets me use a different part of my brain than the mom part - and helps me be grateful that I have the ability and education to contribute to society.
I would write more, but I have a screaming child on my lap.
5 comments:
I love it when I can be the first one to comment on your blog. Of course, I've missed many blogs in between. Going backwards through your lives is fun, though. Who could believe your darlin's would ever cause you any woe. I do agree with the sleep thing. Feel like I gotta' have those 8 hours. I can believe that Savannah is on antibiotics. Know the guilt trip.
I guess I'll be reading "Three Cups of Tea" next. Right now I'm reading "1776". I must say that I am really learning a lot and am loving the objectivity with which he writes.
I'm so sorry. Sleep deprivation is an ordeal. If we lived close by I'd take the girls during the day so you could sleep! I know saying that does absolutely no good whatsoever, but what else can I do...
I can't wait to see you guys in a few weeks. Maybe Savannah will give you a respite for Christmas. You should sit on Santa's lap and ask specifically for that.
You really are a blessed lady. Thank Heavens the sleepless nights will pass. I hope soon!
I'm the same way when it comes to sleep, Mark and I both are. We will see how things go when we are blessed with another newborn.
You shouldn't feel guilty though, that's just how motherhood goes sometimes. Sorry to hear about Savannah, hope she is better soon. Sounds like you need a trip to Vegas. :)
Emily-you are so funny! Yet, I am so sad about sleepless nights. Big bummer! I have some suggestions for you-an idea about the bottle. I will call you! We have found success here! Carter took FOUR ounces via the sippy cup!
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